Thursday, August 25, 2016

Forgive whenever you can, have compassion when you feel anger and regret. Remember we are all doing the best we can. I love you mom

February 26, 2002
 Dear Mom, I would give anything to know for sure that you knew I was in the room with you alone. I think all four of us had some time alone with you. You were on morphine and kept waking up asking me "dear, why am I so tired?" You had asked the nurses a few times to be sure the doctor knew you were a DNR.  I looked out the window and the snow flakes were huge and looked like they were falling in slow motion. I wanted to wake you up so you could see this out the window and have it be one of the last things you saw. Why was I so afraid to lay down next to you in the bed? So, I sat on the edge of the bed describing the snowfall out the window. I didnt know how deep you were into your morphine sleep, but when you heard "Birdie's" voice you squeezed my hand. My thoughts suddenly were how do you grieve for a dying mother. There is no handbook on this.  I decided to just sit there and love you.  When I had to leave I felt confident, sort of, that my three sisters and I would be able to sit with you the next day and be with you when you passed.  The next morning as we were all getting ready to go in and be with you, we got the call that when they were trying to move you to a private room you had a heart attack and died.  I remember the terrible fear you had of falling, mostly since that awful fall in Florida. I am sorry we were not there at the exact time you passed. I wish you knew were all on our way.
I want to thank you for a specific memory I have - When we would go to Hermit Island every summer in Maine and camp with our cousins, the drive was extremely long.  You would work during the year cutting out pictures for us and when we got in the back seat of the car (4 of us side by side) for the very long ride, we each had a packet of images we had to try and locate on the long trip and check off our lists, i.e., Howard Johnson's, Texaco station, Volkswagen, etc. - It kept us occupied trying to outdo one another. 
I remember waking up in the tent every morning on Casco Bay to the smell of bacon and coffee you were making.  I could smell and hear the ocean- beautiful Casco Bay.  I could hear the Coleman stove firing. I have a faint memory of Dad teaching me to swim in the Lily Pond. I have a photo of it.  We would go climbing on the rocks with our chisels hammers to extract the beautiful garnets which happens to be my birthstone. In my darkest moments I conjure up these memories. I hope you have peace now mom. I miss you.
                                                                            Mom this one's for you.
Marion Louise Howard

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

** Make Peace with the Past so it Doesnt Mess up Your Future **

   “People who will not sustain trees, will soon live in a world which cannot sustain people."  -  Bryce Nelson


Tuesday, August 16, 2016

~What has Happened to our Humanity?~

~I Pray for all the victims of cruelty, both human and animal ~
 There are pictures on the internet that I wish I hadn't stumbled upon.  THEY BROKE MY SOUL. I was raised to love and respect animals. I am in the process of trying to become a vegetarian for my own personal reasons.  My heart cannot process what I see.  For anyone who eats veal, you wont want to know what they do to get it.  It is the most disturbing image I have ever seen and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind or my soul.  Many years ago, people had to kill animals, but that is not the case anymore.  I will stand up on a soapbox and preach but I maintain my right to express my horror, disgust, and anger.
My husband and I take care of our neighbor's labs during the day while she is working. These dogs are her life and she would never trust them with just anyone.  They make my heart smile.  We let them out and play with them and give them fresh water and when we let them back inside we "snuggle" with them.  They are just as attached to us as we are to them. It is an honor to be trusted with these beautiful animals.  When they come over to our deck when their mom is home, and I see those sweet faces looking in our slider, it makes my day.
Calvin and Cody at their home on Calvin's 9th birthday.


Sunday, August 7, 2016

~ The Sea is Calling to me ~


My Dream Home Overlooking Wingaersheek Beach

 Same Home - Same Dream

A Girl Can Dream Cant She- Overlooking Wingaersheek Beach My Favorite Beach Ever


Back to Reality (I hate when that happens)

Monday, August 1, 2016

~Bless the Beasts and the Children-Give Them Shelter From the Storm-Keep Them Safe Keep Them Warm ~


Dragon Fly for my "SuSu"

and another one for you Sis.  Thank you for your support-I love you SO much.
How many roads you've traveled
How many dreams you've chased
Across sand and sky and gravel
Looking for one safe place
One safe place

Will you make a smoother landing
When you break your fall from grace
Into the arms of understanding
Looking for one safe place
One safe place

Oh life is trial by fire
And loves the sweetest taste
And I pray it lifts us higher
To one safe place

Song by Mark Cohn




I LOVE Lighthouses


Monday, July 25, 2016

** When Your Heart Speaks, Do You Listen?**


Pray for those you have hurt.

"Take a Sad Song and Make it Better" -The Beatles
When Your Heart Speaks, Do You Listen?

The brutal and raw truth that we ALL need to hear spoken by Chief Flynn without the "fluff" that comes along with some comments
regarding a serious subject.